Ihawan

Along Roosevelt Ave, extending two blocks to both the north and the south, and stretching from Woodside to Corona, exists the greatest density of delicious dens of food that has ever clustered along a single block. It arguably represents the Ideal of ethnic eating in NY. Fuck the stuffed bear; this is Teddy's greatest legacy. Two blocks of this treasure, between Woodside and Jackson Heights, are dedicated to Filipino restaurants and grocers.

With little to help us select which tasty store to visit, we started with Ihawan, which has been touted for it's barbecued meats.



Of course, no Filipino meal should begin with anything other than Lumpia. Fried pork is always the best way to build up your appetite. Ihawan's were suitable.

Various fruit shakes are here for you including avocado and durian if you dare. Sadly, they were out of Sisig.


Now to the bbq. It was fine. But really, Filipino food is about two things pork and pork. I mean pork and adobo (pork). I'm all about Pata and Sisig and Lumpia and all those great things. The desire to follow the recommendations toward charcoal grilled chicken proved to be foolhardy.
What Ihawan served us was good - some was very good. But it wasn't memorable. You can certainly do worse and I am willing to go back and continue my ordering. But next time walking Ol' Roosey's Ave, and feel like some Filipino, another of the spots will be selected. And when that time comes, I'll report back here (which I've been meaning to do more often).



Info: 2nd floor by the tracks. 4006 70th St. Also, I think there is an Ihawan 2 in Long Island City.

Flushing Mall

There are two major food courts in Flushing - the Golden Mall and the Flushing Mall. Each have their charms, but for today, we are concerned with the Flushing Mall.
This is a modern food court experience compared with the rabbit warren-like den that is the Golden Mall. Plenty of seating, cleanliness, bathrooms, I can see why some prefer this spot. But really, the Gua Bao is the single most important reason to visit. I'll get to this in a moment.
Lamb Noodle Soup, Dan-dan Noodles, and Boiled spare rib:
The Flushing Mall contains about a dozen food stalls in the main area and an additional Korean Dumpling stall upstairs. Some common favorites are present including the amazing and famous X'ian Famous Foods, which also has it's original stall in Golden Mall and outposts on St. Marks St and Chinatown. There is Korean, Japanese, Hand-pulled noodles, Szechuan, Taiwanese, etc. We settled in with some surefire hits. Everything I am about to describe was, simply, fantastic.
From the far right of the court, we started with the only Szechuan stall, Chengdu Snacks. From here we chose some Dan-dan noodles and boiled spare ribs. The problem with ordering spicy foods from many ethnic places is that proprietors rarely believe your delicate palettes can handle the heat. Even though these were ordered by an Asian-American who insisted he could handle it, the Dan-dan noodles were not hot in the slightest. Somewhat of a disappointment. Insist on the heat. The boiled spare ribs were breaded, although the breading was mushed by the cooking, and incredibly tender. Very juicy pieces of meat.
Next, Stan and Beth ordered some hand-pulled noodles (also in the right side of the court). They are completely fine and comparable to any of the good Chinatown noodle joints.
We were sure to hit up the western Chinese cuisine of X'ian Famous Foods. This is pure food - it is focused on several major ingredients. Our choices were all centered on two ingredients: lamb and cumin. It is serious cumin. Below are short, flat lamb noodles in a spicy broth.
This is the lamb burger. It rules and is probably their most cited dish amongst western eaters. Again, cumin.

And now this brings me to the Gua Bao. This is basically the hamburger/sandwich of Taiwan. A squishy dough pocket filled with pork belly, pickled veggies, cilantro, scallion and a great crushed peanut-sugar mixture. The Gua Bao here blows away those served at Baohaus and I can't say exactly why (and I love Baohaus). They are certainly cheaper and much larger. Can't say the ingredients are any nicer. The setting sure is more authentic. Something about these things is just so overwhelmingly satisfying. For me, it is the combo of big meaty chunks of pork belly and a great peanut-sugar combo. Just really fantastic stuff.


I'm amazed:
Tim basically cleaned up our mess. He finished every morsel left over from our order, which was much larger than our stomachs could handle. And after eating it all, he still had a smile on his face.

Finally, Tim purchased a totally superfluous kimchi roll - he basically took the thing down himself: Dudes, Flushing Mall: GO NOW.

Grubby: Bosna Express

Unless you lived in the neighborhood, there would be little reason to ever encounter it. But hidden, right below the Forest Ave M station, sits an unassuming one-table hole in the wall that serves shockingly great burgers. Marked by bright yellow signage, we approached Bosna Express somewhat increduously. Could this nondescript little stand with a single nervous employee grill the unique, yogurt sauced burger savored and cherished in blog postings and reviews throughout the interweb? The answer is a firm Yes...and how. Bosna Express specializes in Pljekavica, a frisbee sized meat patty eaten throughout the Balkans and seen sizzling here:

Ground beef and lamb are flattened into discs with minced white onion strewn throughout. While the circumference may be intimidating, the patties are super thin, which allows the griddle to almost create an outer seal or barrier which is popped with every juicy bite. The texture almost reminds me of those thin roach-coach patties - but the similarities stop there. These are fine quality ground meats placed lovingly into fresh baked bread of the near pita variety. The bread was really fantastic.



Lettuce and tomato are added with a creamy, yogurt based sauce. Shown here, a mild hot sauce was also provided. We ordered some extra yogurt to sloppify our burgers.


Two burgers served five people easily. And they are dirt cheap. We were only slightly harassed by drunk who would not accept that Bosna does not serve beer. If you go, may I suggest a side trip to Morcher's Pork Store . It is most triumphant.



Info: 791 Fairview Ave. Ridgewood, Queens

Grubby: Salut

For our third weekly Food Adventure, we traveled into Rego Park, Queens in search of Uzbeki food. As a result of its location wedged between three distinct civilizations, Uzbekistan cuisine is a melange of Russian, Middle Eastern, Jewish and a smidge of Asian cuisine. In other words, there is lots of lamb.


Is lamb any old sheep or only baby sheep? Doesn't matter to me; it is delicious when a sword is stabbed through it.



Salut was, frankly, amazing. It is out where Rego Park meets Flushing Meadows. It is a tiny little place, Russian tv and little English spoken, and with such a large group, we were lucky to be seated, but once we were, Baltika 9s and 3s were ordered right away.


Given that several in our crew were working off mean hangovers (someone who will go unnamed was celebrating his birthday Hasslehoff style, drunkingly chowing on McDonald's cheesburgers in a fancy hotel room the night before), we needed deliciousness and were not dissappointed. Kababs. Man, they are good. Get the lamb, get the beef and get some lamb rib (juicier, pinker, fattier and thus tastier than the regular lamb). I don't think I've ever had lamb as jucy. They might spritz it with vinegar before bringing to the table. Beef was preferred by some in the group.


A really nice, vinegarey shredded carrot salad was served. The above photo is of lamb cheburekis. Meat and pastry, triangulated and fried. Below are some amazing fries. Do you see the piles of garlic and parsley on the corner of the plate? Yes, you do.
And dear lord, the baba ganoush. I have never tasted eggplant like this - so creamy. They must put mayo or something in it because this is a rich, creamy dip.





Go to Salut. Now. You'll like it.

Info: 63-42 108th Street, Closed on Shabbas

Grubby: Cheburechnaya

Second on our Uzbek adventure was Cheburachnaya. Not nearly as good as Salut but it did have its positives. For one, it was BYOV (the V is for Russian Standard, the "best selling premium vodka in Russia" - see below.)



Cheburachnaya was more of a group/party spot compared with the cozy Salut. And it had this man running 20+ burners for kababs:


The specialty here are the chebureki - isosceles turnovers, perfectly golden, filled with either ground lamb, cabbage or pureed potato, and served with some kind of cross between salsa and gravy. Total toss-up on the prefered filling - some raved about the lamb while potato was cited by others as superior. These were my highlight.

Bowl-shaped, cracker-like bread called noni-toki was tossed about the group and used to scoop baba ganoush which was good but not nearly as good as Salut. The lamb kababs were also good but inferior to Salut. Way more gamey than what we had just sampled.



Basically, I would recommend Salut over Cheburachnaya to anyone in most situations, unless you are having a big group and want to celebrate. Cheburechnaya was kind of jumping for a Sunday afternoon. And they serve 4 types of Baltika. And you can bring your own vodka.

Am I being too harsh? Should I not be comparing the two? Leave your piece in the comments.

Info: 92-09 63 Drive; Closed during Shabbas

Grubby: Izalco

If, by some chance an outside reader has stumbled upon this blog, I should explain that I lead a
motley gaggle of degenerates on weekly excursions in search of food, delicious encounters, kitsch, booze and general bizarreness. Food Adventure #2 took the crew on Robert Sietsema's trail of the great El Salvadoran cuisine of Queens. In one afternoon we hit up three resturaunts in two different Queens neighborhoods. Pupusas aplenty.




Our first stop took us to Woodside and the delicious Izalco. Izalco won the prize for best all-around Salvadoran, thanks I'm sure to a 4-foot abuelita in the kitchen. Tons-o-kitsch here with mirrored ceilings, stuffed armadillo and a "pink clam" not attached to a woman in the women's bathroom.

Pupusas came with a beautiful rainbow slaw of vinegar and spice. The horchata and tamarindo was enjoyed by most (I preferred Gallo). "Enchiladas" bore no resemblance to the mole and cheese creations of Mexico. These were more like tostadas with a bunch of salsa-ey chopped stuff on top. Superb. The salpicon is a must try. Micro-chopped beef, onions, lime, parsley, etc, served as a cold "salad". The soft elote tamales may have been my fav.

Really, every meal should come with sides of crema. The sweet cream made the fried plantains.


We left full, but with two more restaurants on our list we needed some liquid sustenance...

Info: 64-05 Roosevelt, Queens

Boozey: The MF Scorpion Bar

So, you've just filled up on pupusas and salpicon, you want a drink but don't want to step foot in
another Irish pub. And you have a craving for bodacious tittays. Scorpion is your place.


Maybe a shady hostess bar or just a futbol bar with T&A, the Scorpion served us what we needed: drinks at cheap prices, pool and crazy big boobs.

If anyone reads this and has any more info on this place - give us the scoop.


Info: ? (Sorry for no pics of the barmaids!)

Grubby: El Comal

All the way at the end of the Queens lines lies Jamaica. I think this place is chock-full of grub.

The second stop on our food adventure led us to El Comal. Holly God - the pupusas in this place! This was good shit. The best, Jerry, the best!

The masa-based pupusas tasted so fresh. They were fluffy - almost pancake-y. We enjoyed with frijoles y queso and, of course, the revueltas with shredded pork and queso.

Dominican Presidente was had all around. A few of us dug into some fried chicken which was "good but nothing special".


It is way the hell out there and the decor is better left unmentioned, but the pupusas were worth every minute on that train.

Info: 148-62 Hillside Ave.